How NOT to Make Money: the FedEx Finagler

Let’s face it. Most of us have been there. You’re in a pinch and desperate to make some extra cash.

Or maybe you’ve even been tempted by a crime of opportunity? (If you said yes to that, we’re semi-judging you.)

Anyways, You probably got here because you want to up your financial game – in a legit way. Kudos.

But other people…

You know what? Let’s just dive into the glittering (and not-so-glittering) world of making money the worst way possible, inspired by a tale out of Memphis, Tennessee. who found themselves with their very own FedEx “jewel thief.”

Buckle up for a hilariously cautionary tale on how not to make money!

We won’t say her name in this blog post, even though it’s public record. Anyways, she lifted over $12,000 in tacky ugly baubles from a package she was handling and sold it to a local jewelry store.

The loot included gold Figaro necklaces and a Quantum Jewelers diamond pendant which just so happened to be “unique”!

The jewelers she sold them to ratted on her expeditiously, and to make matters worse, she was caught on camera the whole time!

She obviously lost her job. (Right before Christmas.) And is in trouble with the law. And has a tidy bond of $5,000 to put up.

Yikes.

Let’s unpack this gem of a mistake and learn what to avoid on your quest for riches! (So that we don’t feel bad for just laughing at her.)

Side Hustle Mistakes: Lessons from a FedEx Faux Pas

1. Do Not Abuse a High-Trust Job to Pocket Some Bling, or Cash, or Secrets, or Whatever

Cushy positions don’t come easy.

Union, benefits, all gone!

Even if you don’t have that, taking advantage of high-trust positions will always lead to negative consequences – often for you and usually for everyone else. That applies at work, in your family, with friends, wherever.

Lesson: If you’re in a position where you handle valuable items, money, or trusted information daily, resisting the urge to turn into a real-life pirate might be wise.

2. Do Not Neglect the Fine Print on Ethics, Law, a Contract, or other Agreements

There are lots of ways to make money that may not be as blatantly wrong as pilfering packages, but can still put you on the wrong side of the law, your employer, or a contract.

So think closely before taking advantage of little loopholes or free passes you think no one will notice.

Lesson: Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should. Ignoring moral guidelines generally leads to trouble. If not now, then somewhere down the line.

3. Don’t Overestimate Your Sneaky Skills

Listen up. We live in the surveillance age.

There are cameras in every hand, towers all over the place, and even nearby smart speakers could be logging your naughty ways.

No offense, but you aren’t actually smart or skilled enough to get away with your little scheme.

I mean, they’re even putting trackable barcodes in our backpacks! What the heck! 🤷‍♀️

Lesson: Stealth wealth means taking the time to build your empire while everyone else is doing their own thing – and being smart enough to preserve it for the long-haul. Being a klepto just isn’t it.

4. Never Disregard the Importance of a Clean Resume, Good Reputation, or Network

Trust accumulates over time but can be trashed in an instant.

Your name, reputation, and community support are worth more than any instant gratification you might get from getting one over.

A criminal record can be a massive red flag for future employers. So think twice before acting impulsively.

Lesson: You can work to rebuild trust if you’ve made big mistakes in the past. In that case, being open, honest, and authentic goes miles. But don’t put yourself in this position if you don’t have to.

5. Don’t Forget to Invest in Yourself! Skip Personal Growth and Skill Development

You could plug away at a day job and just look for opportunities to get one over. Or you could invest in new skills, certificates, or qualifications.

Maximize the opportunities and resources that are currently available to you. These might be from your employer, a community program, or within your personal circle. Tap into as much as you can and see where it takes you.

Lesson: Investing in yourself leads to sustainable income. Theft is a dead end.

Shine Bright by Doing Right

Impulsive, short-term actions might seem like a fast path to riches. But those choices generally sells us short.

Would-be immediate gains could cost you long-term peace and stability. Or could mean social isolation, fines, jail time, and a ruined career.

So, next time you’re brainstorming ways to make money, remember this glittering example of what not to do. Keep it legal, keep it ethical, and most importantly, keep it fun!

Your future self will thank you – and so will your family, friends, and maybe even a few grateful customers!

Stealing is obviously illegal and unethical. Always pursue honest and lawful means to achieve financial success. Also, if you happen to be that former FedEx worker – we aren’t trying to roast or bully you, hope you’re well on the path to rehabilitation babe!😘